Let It Be: Allowing Happiness

A secret to happiness is letting every situation be what it is instead of what you think it should be.”

– uncredited

Dear Mommy,

I don’t even know where to begin, except to say, I feel happy. And grateful. And sooooo blessed. 💜🕯💜

I know I can still talk to you, but it’s not the same without hearing your voice or getting a hug from you. We used to talk to each other a lot when I was sixteen, the year I felt like a whole new world opened for me. I remember one of our conversations when I was venting to you then asking for guidance, and you said, “You lead too much with your heart.” So I tried to find balance with heart and mind.

Sometimes I am still trying to balance my heart and my head, and I finally get what you said. Leading with my heart may be more compassion, empathy, kindness, or love, so you were suggesting that I think more… which could lead to overthinking… which is also out of balance.

The one thing that doesn’t fail unless I ignore it is my gut.

Intuition.

I don’t remember talking to you very much about intuition, but often when I called you on the phone, you’d answer it, hear my voice, and greet me, “I knew it was you!” I wish I had learned to trust my intuition sooner, but at least I get it now.

Thinking and overthinking may lead to unnecessary unhappiness when we tell ourselves things like “It shouldn’t be like this” or “It should go like this”. I feel certain everyone has times when they think like that. But I definitely found more happiness and being all-zen-and-shit when I learned to let it be. It is what it is. Mindfully in the present… deciding what action to take that would influence a desired outcome or better future.

I know you always wanted what most mothers want for their kids – to experience no pains or difficulties – but you know me. Stubborn. Wanting to blaze my own path. Not wanting to be told what to do.

I look back and realize maybe that was my way of not wanting to fail or feel like I wasn’t enough. If I’m doing my own thing or creating my own of anything, then I am enough.

I remember feeling so skeptical about your experiences being any kind of model for me to strive to follow. You’re you. I’m me. You pursued music. You performed. You taught. You changed careers. You waited until your 30s to get married… and you got married within two weeks of meeting Daddy. You stayed home to raise kids then returned to work a job, not a career. I never asked you if any of it was intentional. Maybe on some level I knew it didn’t matter if any of those bits and pieces were initially out of alignment because in the end. you were happy.

Sometimes when I dream at night, you’re in my dreams but I never see you. In my dreams I know you’re there, but you’re out of sight… just around a corner. Reality feels the same.

I mentioned in Everything Is Temporary, But Love Never Dies, that I’ve gotten signs and nudges that could only be your presence or involvement. You’re still wanting me to have the best… thank you. Everything and everyone on my path that are aligned with me, my authentic self… thank you for leading me home to my dreams. Thank you for letting it be and letting me arrive at where I am now with a spiritual life.

Mommy, I count my blessings gratefully every morning and every night and I feel happy for what I have and everything that’s on its way but has not yet arrived. So much gratitude. I feel certain that joy and gratitude (and the courage to set specific intentions for what I want) have led to my dreams coming to life. Thank you for the handpicked gift. Perfection. And what is heaven sent will never be taken for granted.

Love, Me

Luceat lux vestra.