Hello, Happy!

Believe it or not, I wake up happy every day… at least according to the three points noted in the image accompanying this post. In fact, I wake up full of awesome, which is another story for another post. 😉 [And speaking of other posts, please click here for the previous post if you missed it]

I am far from being Aurora, Cinderella, or Snow White, waking up and singing songs with forest animals and mice, but just as I do when I’m ready to sleep, I start the day knowing my life is good.

“Blessings are counted, needs are met, wants are few, I could not ask for more.”

– Eileen Perez, nightly and daily mantra

My nature has become an attitude of gratitude. I feel certain that even though I didn’t know it or wasn’t even thinking about it at the time, the start of becoming all-zen-and-shit in late 2012 is what prepared me for dealing with my mother’s illness and death as well as assisting my father with his hospitalization and rehabilitation.

Three other messages presented themselves early in my day when I started writing this post. They fit together, and in Leenie Brain, they also worked with linear time of past (Facebook memories), present (a friend’s comment on a new post), and future (a friend’s post reflecting on 2019 and a commitment to let go of the past and create a positive future).

“‘The most important thing is to enjoy your life – be happy – it’s all that matters.’ – Audrey Hepburn. Day 361 of just-trying-to-be-all-zen-and-shit 2017.”

– Eileen Perez via Facebook

“There is not enough time in life to worry about every dang word you say or action you take. If they aren’t friends enough to accept that you ain’t perfect, and you can’t accept that they aren’t, get new friends.”

– wise friend who asked to remain anonymous

“My focus in 2020 will be my own personal peace. I will be fiercely focused and protective of it. I hope this encourages someone else to do the same. Empower yourself. I’m ready to shed the troubles of 2019 and move forward into 2020 with love, light, and peace.”

– T. P. A.

The three points of “To be happy you must…” also remind me of one of my favorites bits of wisdom from Lao Tzu:

“If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present.”

– Lao Tzu

So how do I stay mindfully in the present to eliminate or reduce anxiety, depression, and stress? It’s not always easy, but it is possible. A lot of the time, I just need to be aware of when I’m letting the past or future pull me. I’m one of those folks who very easily gets caught up in my head, so when I start feeling anything other than contentment, I know that I have to do something to bring my mind back to the only thing that is certain – the present.

Basic mindfulness exercises for connecting with my surroundings, focused breathing, and meditation… they all get me out of my head so that I can mentally be where I physically am. Plenty of resources are available for easing anxiety or managing attacks of anxiety or panic.

Aside from feeling better in the moment, I am also able to be fully present for those who need me. When my mom was in Hospice care, we didn’t know how much longer she would stick around, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to mourn her death before her departure. She deserved better than that.

My family and friends surrounded my mom with the light and laughter she enjoyed all of her life; and as I said at her wake, I make no apologies for all of the jokes we cracked. As much as it sucked to know that she was never coming home, I could see the blessing of being able to spend time with her during her final days by providing comfort and care that could only come from family.

Sigh… so yeah, as weird as it sounds, I could still be happy even during grief. I had the gift of time with Mommy and bringing light to her last days. For that, I will always be grateful.

Luceat lux vestra