Home: A Perspective

I planned to do a post about peacemakers, but this morning as I was scrolling through Facebook, I noticed a recurring theme. Many of my friends were making the decision to draw the line. We collectively are worn down by coronavirus. Even those who have been trying to live with minimal disruption to their norm are having a tough time with the emotional and mental effects.

About a week ago (week ago… LOL) I unfollowed friends because their relentless COVID-19 opinion posts were too much for me, especially if they were misleading, misinforming, or missing the fucking point and more so if their energy was just too heavy, too negative… shit, even too political! Over the years, it has become easier to recognize what is out of my control and stay in my lane.

One experience last week raised my awareness about how ego and fear lead people to panic and behave irrationally in their fight or flight response. The COVID-19 panic isn’t only evident in buying irrational amounts of food and supplies for being home more and going out less. The panic presented in a Facebook friend’s post as the following: “I am tired of hearing A. I am tired of hearing B…” then proceeded to illustrate a meltdown because of ego and fear as a high-risk person when it comes to COVID-19. When I offered the suggestion of unfollowing the people she was reacting to the most and allow herself relief from those triggers, her response was that I was lecturing her and my choice to live mindfully (all-zen-and-shit) is passive aggressive because on the contrary, she thinks stupid people should be told they’re stupid. (Yes, yes… that speaks volumes about needing to heal from some very deep wounds and the lecturing comment shows the need for mirror work, but those are points for a different post.)

I feel sad when I see people hurting or feeling exhausted by things that are beyond their control, by choosing to react fueled by negativity. I feel like I should offer guidance to a more peaceful way of living because everyone deserves a shot at a happy existence, right? I’ve been there with all of the heaviness and want to help others find their own peace, but even I have to know when to let go of the horse that’s not drinking… All I can do is shine a light.

Last week I did my shining through silliness and music and posted a couple of videos on Facebook. In my parody video introduction, I confess that I’ve been social distancing for years because I LOVE BEING IN MY HOME. We’ve been in our current house for more than seven years, and I wanted it to be a home that I love coming back to whether I’ve been at work or been out of town. Many people travel on vacation to get away from work or get out of town, but I travel to enjoy the destination. I always love coming home.

If this is the first Tacos and Tiaras post you’re reading, then you may not know that my mom died in December 2018. I had traveled a lot in 2018 both for professional and personal events and was out of the country when my mom was hospitalized. By the time I returned to North Carolina I had been gone for two months straight, so I truly appreciated being home. All of 2019 was divided between North Carolina and Virginia as well as Michigan. If I looked at the details on the calendar, my guess is I was only home for half of the entire year. As much as I can make the best of a situation, I still miss my home when I’m away from it and my loved ones.

Most recently I’ve been spending the majority of time in Virginia to keep an eye on my dad after his hospitalization in November-December. One of my brothers and I trade off to help Chief Daddy stay on track with taking care of himself and to make sure he has someone with him if anything happens. And things do happen.

With the spread of COVID-19, my brothers and I run errands so that Chief doesn’t have to go out because his age and other medical conditions put him at a higher risk for complications from the virus that could be fatal. My focus on staying well is more to protect him than myself. If we have to stay home more and minimize in-person interactions in order to get a handle of the outbreak, so be it. His county in Virginia and my county in North Carolina both have confirmed cases of coronavirus; therefore, we are more careful than ever.

I am so grateful to be in my home in North Carolina this week, and I was supposed to return to Virginia this afternoon; but my brother advised me that I can stay longer. YAY!!! I’ll say it again – I LOVE BEING IN MY HOME. Anyone who has been away from home more than they wanted to be understands this. Yes, home is where the heart is, where you hang your hat, and so on, but I have too much gratitude to ignore the fact that this physical space that I call home is my retreat from everything beyond the walls and property lines. Third time and with emphasis – I FUCKING LOVE BEING IN MY HOME!

Today, 24 March, is a new moon (and Tacos and Tiaras Tuesday). My intentions tonight will be more detailed than last month’s in manifesting a more peaceful world as we face this challenge, so that we can come together and focus on what matters without ego, fear, politics, or any other distractions that we have allowed to weaken our ability to combat a novel virus. And for me personally, I will continue to seek the universe’s support in being a light.

Luceat lux vestra.