My dad and I haven’t always gotten along – that’s a much bigger story for another day – but in the months since my mom died, he’s basically been stuck with me helping him through his grief to his new normal. My middle-child brother tells me that our dad says more to me than him, and I joke, “Well, that’s because I’m the princesa and I’m all up in his face and make him talk to me!” (Note: That’s a joke. People tell me their business all the dang time, and end it with, “I don’t know why I told you all that, but you’re easy to talk to.” I guess the empath thing works on my dad too.)
Those who have met my dad know that he’s a man of few words. I refer to him as Chief Daddy because of his service through the United States Navy and to his family. That combination of a Chief Petty Officer father with an acts of service love language made for a pretty efficient and regimented household. I think Chief Daddy yelled at me more than actually talking to me when I was growing up, and other times, he would vent to my mom right in front of me and tell her to talk to me, which makes me think of Shelby in Steel Magnolias: “Stop talking about me like I’m not here!” lolz
Without my mom, my Chief Daddy has to speak to me directly. I am so proud of him for getting out of his comfort zone, especially with telling me how he feels. I feel trusted because he’s letting his guard down to express his grief. However these deep conversations often are preceded by some straight-up goofiness.
I was due to share some humor, so I present some of my Facebook posts from earlier this year. I was able to take off from work to take care of Chief Daddy while his glucose was still dipping and spiking and to handle tasks that my mom normally did (or didn’t do – lemme just say two words. Pack rat.) My brothers and I were not letting him drive until it felt like he was physically and mentally able to do so. I ended up taking more time than planned because of trying to get a doctor’s appointment for him, but I am grateful for the time together that made these conversations possible.
Leaving the house…
5 January 2019
Daddy: you driving?
Leenie: yup.
Daddy: you don’t trust me…
Leenie: Nope!
Dude has said he’s gotta million things swimming in his head. On an ordinary day, his driving is questionable. Therefore, Leenie and Skwerl have been chauffering him around the PWC.
Leenie presents the first installment in “The Chronicles of Driving Chief Daddy”
I can tell he wants to ask why I have to make comments at other drivers, but I’m certain he realizes I’m his Mini-Me. If he starts to use “douchewaffle” and “bitch ass”, then the circle is complete. 😁😬🤣
8 January 2019
Another episode of “Driving Chief Daddy”
Daddy: <looking to the right> OK, go.
Leenie: Dude. Stop sign. I gotta come to a complete stop, y’know?
Daddy: <shrugs in a way that seems to indicate “whatever!”> 👀
12 January 2019
Daddy: Where’s the channel changer? (Note: at least he didn’t call the remote control “the clicker”)
13 January 2019
Leenie: On the couch.
Daddy: I checked. It’s not there.
<Leenie moves pillows, electronic item with button falls>
Leenie: Are ya suuuuuure?
Daddy: That’s the phone.
<Leenie looks at cordless phone base and sees TV remote control>
Leenie: Daaaaaaaaaaang <LOLs> I guess I was conpyused!!!!!!! 🤣🤣🤣
Chief Daddy Handling a Vishing Scam
Chief Daddy: <answering call via call waiting> Hello! Hello?
16 January 2019
Salesperson: HI, I’m <random name> with <remodeling company>… <blah blah etc>
Chief Daddy: oh! What kind of remodeling? What do you recommend?
Salesperson: <yadda yadda yadda>
Chief Daddy: I had that done six months ago.
Salesperson: <makes another suggestion>
Chief Daddy: YOU’RE SELLING BULLSHIT! STOP CALLING HERE! BAH-BYE, IDIYOT!
🤣🤣🤣
Leenie: Well done, sir!
😁😁😁
Who had 34 days?????
17 January 2019
<Leenie discovers another pile of prayer books to be packed into a box in which she had already exercised her summa cum laude Tetris skills>
Leenie: *$%¡ <F-bomb dropped> §%+&!!!!!
Chief Daddy: Why do you have to talk like that? You weren’t raised like that! <imitates Leenie, sounding like Eddie Murphy imitating Bill Cosby… Filth Flarn Flarn Filth>
Leenie Brain: (coughHYPOCRITEcough)
Leenie Mouth: I’ll work on my language, Sir.
Hour later, from The Chronicles of Driving Chief Daddy, coming back from Arby’s, pickup truck runs stop sign…
Also Chief Daddy: *§+&%$ Idiyot! He had a stop sign.
Leenie Brain: <assessing which swear words may be acceptable based on what Chief used)
Leenie Mouth: Yes, Sir. He ran that stop sign.
Conversation with Chief Daddy this morning, I wished him a Happy 3.14 Day. He told me that yesterday, 13 March, was the 60th anniversary of him joining the United States Navy.
14 March 2019
❤️🇺🇲⚓🇺🇲❤️
He concluded with, “I’m not senile yet, Eileen…” so I countered with, “That remains in question, Sir.” 🤣
Finally got suspenders for Chief Daddy
25 May 2019
Him: Now I will look like an old fart.
Me: You look like that regardless 😜
Picking a Restaurant with Chief Daddy
Chief: where we going?
Leenie: your choice, Sir.
Chief: well, Eileen, I eat light. I can eat soup at Panera, but you’re here…
Leenie: …and you’re saying I eat a lot?
Chief: you’re a growing girl
Leenie: with all due respect, Sir, shut the fuck up
Chief: <shit-eating grin>
Chief and Leenie laugh
25 May 2019
Calling Out Chief Daddy
CD: Can you show me how to work the DVD player?
Leenie: Umm, remember when I offered to show you and to write instructions? You were all, “I can figure it out if I mess with it.”
CD: Did I say that?
Leenie: Yes, sir. You did.
CD: Oh well, I could figure it out, but I’m lazy. Could you write me the standard operating procedures?
Leenie: Daddy, I write SOPs at my job. See? I use my degree!<I wrote his TV/DVD SOPs. He read through them and was able to operate the DVD player as well as putting the Input back to cable.>
CD: which button……..
26 May 2019
Leenie: Hang on, lemme take pics of all the remotes. I have a feeling I’m gonna need them when you call to ask questions
Conversations with Chief Daddy: Car Karaoke Edition
Leenie singing: Summertime and the livin’ is easy…
CD singing: Oh your Daddy’s naked and your Ma has no paaaahntieeeees…
Leenie: DADDY! WHAT THE HELL???
22 June 2019
Morning Calls from Chief Daddy
6 August 2019
<Leenie phone rings CD ringtone>
Leenie: Heeeeeeeey, Daddy.
CD: you’re late again! (He called yesterday too)
Leenie: umm, and a good morning to you too
CD: Go to work! Make some money!
Leenie: 🖕🏽
<blah blah blah>
CD: Okay. I’m heading down south. Love you.
Leenie: Love you, Daddy.
💜🌹💜🖕🏽💜😁🤣🤣🤣
Luceat lux vestra.