Compassion

“Being distracted and failing to see a magical opportunity. Taking someone or something for granted. Discontentment with life.”

– Radleigh Valentine, Fairy Tarot Cards, Four of Summer

Yep. I was distracted this morning by some coronavirus posts, but after seeing my trusted voices of reason were already involved, I am here. In my lane. Doing my thing. For me. For you.

And the Four of Summer is shining an even clearer light on the continuation of what happened for me in India. Please click here to view India Part 1.

The First Evening in Bangalore

On Friday, 7 December when the leadership team and I arrived back at The Oberoi, we made plans to meet downstairs for dinner. I went up to my room, and when I connected my phone to the WiFi, all of my Facebook messenger notifications loaded. One was from my cousin’s wife, asking about my mom’s condition and if she was still in the hospital.

My parents had both been hospitalized in April 2018, so I asked if she was referring to that situation. She advised me that one of my aunts had mentioned my mom was in the hospital; I told her I would see what I could find out then ask my brother to check on my parents.

I was running a little bit late getting down to the patio restaurant, and my manager was already there. Our chief officer was running later than me. Earlier in the day, my manager had talked about how she felt so far from home and not knowing what she would do if anything happened with her mother, and now here I was with that being an actual possibility in my family.

I told her about the message from my cousin’s wife and that my brother was going to get back to me when he learned more. My response to my manager’s expression was, “I know, right?!” She asked what I was going to do, and I advised her that we just needed to wait and find out what is the actual situation.

In times of uncertainty, the best thing to do is focus on the one thing that is certain – the present moment.

My manager and I were waiting for our chief officer, so the conversation between us continued, sharing our personal thoughts and feelings on matters that usually reach a point that involves religion. She and I were on the same page, or at least in the same book, in many things with how we live our personal lives. It’s been months since we’ve made time to catch up with each other, so I’m not sure if those things are still a match; but I feel grateful for the friendship, honesty, and trust. Those were the things I needed for the pivotal point that was coming into view.

Our chief officer arrived, and over dinner, we talked shop, then we talked life. He is one person who I respect professionally and adore personally based on his storytelling. He tells the story of his career in a way that I wanted to learn more and do my best, and he’s had challenges in his life that he chose to let lift him instead of letting them drag him down. It’s his story to tell; therefore, I’m not sharing the details even though he doesn’t keep them a secret. Also that would distract you from the point – no matter how big or small of an obstacle or challenge we face, we have a choice in what to do with it.

I forget the order of how things happened, but again, looking at them in linear time is insignificant. At some point during dinner, my brother called, so I left the table to take his call.

Mommy was in the hospital.

My brother learned that our mom had collapsed at home on the night of 5 December. I had spoken to her earlier that day before I left for the airport. He was going to talk to my father, Chief Daddy, later to get more details of her condition.

I returned to the table and let my team know as much as I knew.

Whether it was before the call or after, my chief officer asked me if I knew about 333. Other than it being my daughter’s lunch number in elementary school, nope. He told me that it’s a sign that your angels are near and supporting you.

We had already talked about the absence of religion in my life [I told him that if one had to label me, I was an atheist who recognized something that guides us we could not see, but one can have a conscience and be “good” without religion], but he mentioned angel numbers in a more universally spiritual way rather than some “go ye and preach my gospel” type of way. And dang it, the question escapes me now, but he has a standard “get you to think” question. We discussed our answers. Not a debate, not an argument. A discussion.

I am grateful for our conversation. I am grateful for its timing.

It was Friday night, and the three of us didn’t have to be at the office the next day, so we kept talking until it got late enough to say, “We better get some sleep.”

When I was back in my room, I had no distractions to keep me from thinking. I had JUST arrived in Bangalore, and we wouldn’t be running our events until Monday and Tuesday.

At dinner we had talked about always putting family first. If I opted to leave, I wouldn’t be there to support the team; they would understand. Was my presence that integral to running the events? No matter what, they would host the events as best they could without me. Would it even make sense to try to arrange a new flight? With the time it takes to travel as well as trying to get my flight changed, I might have arrived home a day earlier. Was it necessary for me to get back home as soon as possible?

My brain and my gut were saying the same thing – stay.

I was where I was supposed to be, and for years, I had been changing my mindset to handle this type of situation. Stay in the present moment. Stay in what is certain. I still had the nagging “what ifs” trying to pull me too far into the future… the unknown… the anxiety that accompanies uncertainty.

My brother sent me a text message. Mommy was sedated because she was on a ventilator, but her medical team was optimistic because she was stable. They would give her time to rest a couple of days before allowing her to breathe on her own.

The message arrived at 3:33 AM local time in India.

With the message from my brother, the comfort of the angels, and my first experience in feeling divine orchestration (even though I didn’t fully get it at the time), I turned off the light and went to sleep.

This is a good place to stop for today… Next installment will start with sightseeing on Saturday.

Thank you for making time to join me here where our personal journeys are running together.

Luceat lux vestra.