“Piglet noticed that even though he had a very small heart, it could hold a rather large amount of gratitude.”
– A. A. Milne
It’s Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving. “Black Friday” is a retail term that allegedly comes from the idea that the sales on the Friday after Thanksgiving are what push retail businesses solidly from loss (red) to gain (black).
What I see is less about money and more about spirit – in one day, we move from the spirit of gratitude to the spirit of giving.
This is one of those posts where I can only type out everything without trying to make it flow as some well-thought post because time doesn’t stop.
I woke up this morning feeling called to write about humility, but dang it, I didn’t realize what kind of rollercoaster was ahead of me, including the loop of gratitude and humility.
Thank you for fastening your seatbelt before reading. 😉 I would throw in some section headings but that would mean organizing and thinking, but this one you’re just going to have to ride the ride at your own risk because Leenie Brain can be a bit jostling, and maybe even throw your hands in the air and scream, “Woohoo!” now and then when we roll over a summit and feel like we’re almost freefalling.
Even a few minutes ago, I opened Facebook and saw this:
“There are moments in life when things don’t go as planned and you’re left facing your biggest fears. Trying times shape you, amid their chaos. They show you how resilient you are, and the strength you hold in the trenches of your heart.”
– Eileen Lamb, @moonomens
Yesterday even with as much gratitude as I feel everyday but focused on it more because it was Thanksgiving Day, I still stumbled into doubt and fear because my mind set the expectation that by now, a year later, I’d “be in business” yet I found myself asking for help because my “non-traditional approach to earning a living” by doing what my heart calls me to do – luceat lux vestra – let your light shine.
What I found is even more humbling – the grace and generosity of friends who find value in what I do, who believe in me and what I contribute to our world, and who support me in continuing on this path. I am learning grace through the grace of others. I feel as though I have another leap before me in which I find the balance of a logic-defying spirit, a balance of heart and mind. And it’s there that I find humility.
Two years ago, a stray kitten, now known as MyKi (pronounced Mikey), wandered into my life. I’m not sure that I mentioned in a blog post the story of how my son was in Mike Company at the USMC MCRD Parris Island, preparing to enter “The Crucible” when MyKi arrived, but I called her a little monster for being so cute, which reminded me of Monster Mike Company. That was only the beginning of feeling a pattern with St. Michael.
Last year, I scribbled “Related Somehow: St. Michael” in one of my journals. I wrote bullets about the details I used in the paragraph above, and I also noted that St. Michael the Archangel is the patron saint of the USMC (and military in general). One day when I was being silly with MyKi, I called her “Miguelita” (little Michael) which reminded me that my maternal grandfather is Miguel, born on the Feast of St. Michael which is most likely why my great-grandparents named him Miguel.
Earlier this year I was reading about St. Michael and everything I found emphasized the humility of St. Michael the Archangel. His “greatness” comes from knowing his mission and purpose in serving a higher power, a higher good, but knowing he would never be greater than the one who chose him. He answered the call to serve others for the sake of doing what needed to be done, not for his own future but as protector of others in the present and their future.
I had to look up Merriam-Webster’s definitions of humility and humble. They come from the Latin humilis. The first thing to come to mind was Panis Angelicus, which I learned when I was taking voice lessons. (Note: I picked the Jose Carreras recording because he’s often “the other guy” when it comes to “The Three Tenors”.) Click here for lyrics and translation.
I also found an article on 6 Attributes of Healthy Humility.
I was reflecting on what I wrote in my blog post yesterday, which I didn’t notice at the time, I posted at 3:10 PM EST (or 10 10 10 which thanks to Archangel Gabriel reminded me of last week when I felt called to be a messenger). My post yesterday kept bringing to mind Hershel Greene, a character in The Walking Dead (note: this article is worth reading) because of an episode in which he stated that everyone has a job to do. And with as many half-joking references that many of us have made to The Walking Dead during 2020 because of coronavirus, I found that Hershel quoted John Steinbeck:
“A sad soul can kill you quicker, far quicker, than a germ.”
– John Steinbeck, Travels with Charley
While I was looking for Hershel’s guidance on how each person in the group has a role in their survival, I ran across this dialogue between him and Glenn about believing:
Glenn: This sucks. After everything, we just get taken out by a glorified cold.
Hershel: Don’t say things like that. Don’t even think things like that.
Glenn: All I can do is stop saying them.
Hershel: No, you can do more. We got this far somehow, you can believe somehow. Now we all have jobs here. That one’s yours.
– The Walking Dead, “Isolation” episode, aired 27 October 2013
The archangels and The Walking Dead seemed to reiterate what’s been coming in as bits and pieces in my past month’s blog posts: stay in my heart, choose love over fear, stay grateful, humble, and dedicated to serving as a messenger for something greater, and keep believing through actions and thoughts.
If you made it through all those paragraphs, thank you. This is part of my everyday magic where everything and everyone has meaning and purpose. Coincidences do not exist – and my heart seems to process things before my head can catch up to it.
Thank you for reading. Thank you for what you take to your own heart to do your part to improve our world by improving your own heart, mind, relationships. Thank you for believing and helping me to keep believing.
“”Magic is believing in yourself, if you can do that, you can make anything happen.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
I feel deep gratitude for you sharing your time in reading because time is an investment you’ll never get back. Thank you for appreciating my time being a messenger.
Luceat lux vestra.
