“Sometimes, no matter how much you want for things to happen, all you can do is wait. And usually, waiting is the hardest part.”
– Positive Outlooks Facebook page, 3 November 2011
3 November 2020
In April I wrote India Part 1 and India Part 2 with intentions of writing India Part 3 sooner than now, but I had to allow it to arrive instead of chasing it. I felt impatient because I expected it to come to me within days of the other two posts.
When we started coming into the full moon energy before 31 October, I felt nudges from angel numbers and other signs to do something not yet defined, and last night while I was exchanging messages with a friend, I got a nudge to revisit my India posts.
This morning, it all finally clicked while the same friend and I were catching up, and my phone inserted an extra “mother”. (Truth be told, the message came out “Welcome to my mother motherfucking sunshine!!!” LOLz) <eyeroll>
One of the signs that didn’t immediately make sense was realizing that 30 October was the 40th anniversary of my maternal grandmother’s death. I also noticed a Snapchat filter I used was called “emerald bear” which made me think of my mom (Esmeralda, which is Spanish for “emerald”). Yesterday I was singing Edwin McCain’s I’ll Be and felt another nudge from the lyrics, “emeralds from mountains…” And here I am, beginning to wrap up my India story, which centers around my mom.
4 November 2020
Yesterday I lost my flow with India Part 3, so I am once again waiting for that nudge or call to retrieve it from drafts and finish writing. <eyeroll> It was Tacos and Tiaras Tuesday, my stomach started growling, and when I realized I wasn’t getting anywhere, I took a break. I mean, tacos were calling me! LOL
EDIT: I just noticed in 2019, my first post on this blog mentions flowing and expectations!
Today we have a big waiting game going on after the United States Election Day. Instead of keeping up with it, I’m waiting until the announcement of the final results. Sometimes I have situations where I would rather skip to the end of the book than read everything that happens, but at least my approach to living life isn’t like that.
This afternoon one of my tribe girls and I were chatting about other things on which we’re waiting, and that led to reflecting on learning to be patient. I used to say that I only had patience with children and animals. Being patient with them is easy for me because I understand they have ongoing learning, and that’s what helps me to be more patient with myself and others – understanding that we are always learning and growing.
One of the things that clicked was the saying that “Expectation is the root of all disappointment.” I feel like I’ve learned to go with the flow a bit better and to be more mindfully in the present because the future arrives when it does. I still have to keep in mind how what actions I take affect the future, but I also have to realize what is in my control and what is reasonable to do now. It’s become a lot easier to worry less although I still get ahead of myself and look too far in the future.
I think back to times of waiting impatiently and even times of wasting time while waiting, mostly when I was a lot younger, like waiting for my friends to finish dinner so we could go out and play or <cringe> waiting for a boy to call me on the phone.
So for tonight, I’m finishing this post, eating dinner with my Keets, and watching whatever they decide to pull up on Netflix. Life is too short to miss enjoying these moments.
Keep living and ENJOYING the things the things worth celebrating in life. When your wait is over, you’ll also have memories of time well spent.
Luceat lux vestra.
