Simplifying My Life

“And you wonder where I’ll be in a year
I’ll probably be sitting right here
And if you know the answer, don’t tell me, anyone
‘Cause I don’t wanna know
I don’t wanna know”

“Don’t Wanna Know” by The Refreshments
Songwriters: Arthur “buddy” Edwards / Brian Blush / Brian David Blush / Paul H. Naffah / Roger Clyne / Roger Meade Clyne

It’s been a year, and the short of what I want to say is I feel happy that I can’t see the future because I would have missed out on LIVING my life to get to today… to stop chasing and begin allowing… to let Tacos and Tiaras become and keep growing into its role in my life. I am still learning to trust my intuition straight outta the gate so that things happen sooner/faster, but I got over fears, broke habits, broke free from pattern behavior, released things, released people… anything and anyone not aligned with me, my calling, my path, my best self. I feel grateful. I feel happy. And even on days when I feel not-so-happy, I am still at peace… all-zen-and-shit.

“And then it happens… One day you wake up and you’re in this place. You’re in this place where everything feels right. Your heart is calm. Your soul is lit. Your thoughts are positive. Your vision is clear. You’re at peace, at peace with where you’ve been, at peace with what you’ve been through, and at peace with where you’re headed.”

– uncredited

A year ago yesterday, I wrote my first blog post on tacosandtiaras.com. In Media Res.

In media res… “in the midst of a plot”… but when your life IS your story, isn’t it always in media res?

I had a goal and a plan (because it was time to stop wishing), but when has life ever gone perfectly according to human-constructed plan? I thought I knew what I was supposed to be doing, and dammit if I didn’t just read In Media Res and think, “You’re so fucking slow… you wrote it RIGHT THERE!”

“Go with the flow, abandon expectations, allow what is to be… There! That’s your first lesson in being-all-zen-and-shit! LOL”

In Media Res, my first post on tacosandtiaras.com

A year ago today, I officially launched this blog, ten days after my last day in corporate America. I reflected on the year in, One Year Ago: Same But Different. What more can I say? (OMG Now I hear Avril Lavigne Sk8er Boi)

Honestly, if it wasn’t for Facebook memories, I would have forgotten I launched Tacos and Tiaras on this day last year. It’s just something I don’t think about because after a year, some days it feels like it’s always been here.

But it does feel important to me to remember getting started… because last year, I didn’t feel like I was enough. And I know so many people can relate to fear and low vibration, negative feelings of inadequacy… like we don’t know enough or haven’t accomplished enough or aren’t special enough for anyone to care to listen… but we are enough.

I am enough. YOU are enough.

I’ve learned to focus on and be grateful for who I am and everything I have. I appreciate everyone – family, friend, acquaintance, stranger – who has let me know that they appreciate what I do. The most lovely part about it is I’ve learned that when I am just being me, everything falls into place.

As part of Tacos and Tiaras, I created a social media presence on Instagram (check out related pics for this post!), Twitter, Pinterest, and Facebook. Note: Those three links go to the Tacos and Tiaras profiles on the respective platforms. Oh yes, I will be venturing to other platforms this year. 😉 LOL Almost forgot about YouTube… I still have to upload videos that I dropped on Facebook last week.

I’m just starting to use the Tacos and Tiaras Facebook page for more than a place to link to the blog, but the Tacos and Tiaras Tribe… … having a private group was not in my original vision, but everyday the group is full of laughter and light. I keep it a private group so that we can enforce rules in which KINDNESS is the cardinal rule. And it works.

And I love that we have so many members posting, so that even on the days when I’m less available to fuck around on social media, someone is always keeping the laughs going and the light on for others. And when members repost on their own timelines after seeing something on the TnT Tribe, I feel content. I see a living example of how light spreads. I’ve said it before within the group, when I set up the TnT Tribe, I had no idea how much I would rely on the humor (where I purposely exclude politics because we all need a fucking break), and with 2020 being what it is because of the ‘rona and election year, members KNOW they can come to the group and breathe… because laughing is breathing.

From 2013-2017 I wrote nightly posts on Facebook so I could end each day with gratitude, and it absolutely changed my mindset, especially during times of tragedy. And sometimes, the best thing I could say was what ended up becoming a nightly mantra: “Needs are met. Wants are few. I could not ask for more.”

Facebook memories showed me that three years ago, I shared this:

“I know that you feel like you don’t have everything you want right now, Bailey; but believe me, you have everything that you need. You’re gonna be okay.”

– Sarah Reeves, Party of Five

I used to limit my nightly gratitude messages to Facebook posts, but when I realized I could reach a wider audience, I stopped at the end of 2017, but all of 2018 went by without a blog. And 2018 ended with my mom’s funeral on the day of New Year’s Eve.

Life is too short to hide, to be afraid for our authentic selves to be seen and heard. The posts where I tell MY story have seemed to resonate most with blog readers. We feel less lonely when we can relate and heal together.

I understand this so much better a year later.

I know I still have doubters who don’t believe in my ability to “make a living” by nontraditional means, but at least now they’re no longer part of my inner circle… And ain’t nothin’ a better spark than one lights the fire with, “Just watch me”…

Luceat lux vestra