Seven Life Rules for Being All-Zen-and-Shit

I ran across this in my Facebook memories back in September 2019. I forget how long it’s been since the first time I read this list, but I do remember thinking, “Okay, I’ve been working on all of these.”

My mindset change started off as a choice, but with daily practice, most of the time I don’t have to think about it. Other times, I need to call myself out and remind myself how hard I’ve worked to live mindfully. And I choose to live mindfully because it leads to being happy and feeling content instead of anxious or sad… being all-zen-and-shit!

So, here we go with a rundown of my thoughts on the seven rules.

1. “Make peace with your past, so it won’t disturb your present.” Absolutely. Remember the Lao Tzu quote that I mentioned previously in “Hello, Happy!”? I doubt I could say anything new about letting go, learning from experience, and healing, but I can tell you that it is an ongoing process. I don’t sit here and reflect on the past very much if at all, but now and then something triggers a memory. If the memory is less than pleasant, I find a way to acknowledge it as an experience that was intended to shape my future and move on, kind of like I do during meditation – just allow it to exist and float away from me. I also feel confident that the years in which I have lived more mindfully hold fewer things with which I’ll have to make peace once they become the past. Y’follow me on that?
2. “What other people think of you is none of your business.” I can’t be my authentic self if I allow myself to be concerned with what other people think. I would lose time and waste energy that would be better spent doing the things that matter and sharing time with the people who matter. Dr. Seuss sums it up best: “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”
3. “Time heals almost everything. Give it time.” This is another point that becomes easier as I get older. Others tell me that I’m more patient than them, but typically that’s regarding my patience in dealing with people, especially children. However, I used to be less patient about time. Even with everything we have now for completing tasks faster, receiving products sooner, or communicating almost instantly, healing takes time. Whether I’ve had a broken bone, broken heart, broken spirit, or broken relationship, they’ve all healed in time, and I’ve learned that it can’t be accelerated, rushed, or forced. All I can do is be patient and stick to the process of healing. I feel comforted by the certainty that comes from trusting the process.
4. “No one is in charge of your happiness except you.” (see older post, “Hello, Happy!“)
5. “Don’t compare yourself to others, and don’t judge them. You have no idea what their journey is all about.” (see also bullet 2 above) The first part about comparing yourself… I finally learned that by being myself without comparison is what lets my light shine, and it shines brighter. By stepping out and telling my story even if it’s similar to another, perhaps mine will resonate more with other readers. Whenever someone tells me how well they relate to what I’ve written, I know I am on my path and fulfilling my purpose, which is still unfolding, but I know compassion and kindness are a big part of it. Before Christmas an image of an ornament on a tree was circulating on Facebook, and its message reads, “Today, you could be standing next to someone who is doing all they can to not fall apart, so wherever this day takes you, keep a kind heart.” When I felt ready to share it, this is what I posted:

6. “Stop thinking too much. It’s alright to not know the answers. They will come to you when you least expect it.” (Once more, please refer to “Hello, Happy!” Overthinking. Allowing myself to be pulled by the future. It’s like wanting to skip chapters and see how the book ends, but the book is my life and I’m still living it… mindfully living it day by day. I used to think that I knew how something would play out or I let myself be anxious over uncertainty of how the future would go. One of my recent Facebook post captions on a memory is a short reference to 2018’s huge changes in my life and their impact on 2019.

7. “Smile. You don’t own all the problems in the world.” Sometimes this one is a challenge for those of us with resting bitch face! hahaha But this is possibly the simplest way to spread kindness. Smile! We never know who needs that little bit of light.

Luceat lux vestra